this summer has proven to me just how boring I am and how I am so un-willing, and scared to do anything new, or unfamiliar. I'm pretty sure that I get that from my mom, which is scary. i'm stuck living in a boring world of repetition and cheapness. I need to find an outlet or something to do that I find enjoyable. i'm afraid that I will go crazy living where I am.
I suppose that all of this has lead up to the discover that I need, and have to join the Air force. I kinda see it as a light at the end of the road. it feels like my life with start as soon as I join. I know that my reasoning is crazy... but i'v come to the conclusion that I am crazy, you have to be when you come from my family.
i'm actually really excited to begin the process of enlisting, I hope that everything will go smoothly and that I will be eligible and ready to join. I am actually waiting to find out if I can join and sign my papers before I really tell anyone. I think it would be fun to say hey by the way i'm enlisted in the Air force i'm leaving in 2 days. thats would be easy and I wouldn't have to worry about telling everyone and getting all there crappy feedback.
Reasons: ( things I tell myself thats its ok to do this crazy thing)
* finally get to have something of my own.
*life is too boring already
*finally be skinny
*feel bad Ass
*hot boys to look at
*my way of avoiding things, boys, Marriage, family... etc...
* pay for college
*become a better person
*become independent and mature
*escape
my list is pretty interesting, but its what iv got and its probably going to grow. i'm really really hoping that my enlistment process will actually happen and that I will finally get what I want... but the process starts now and we will see what happens. If I don't end up getting in I will find something else to do.
thats whats been on my mind...
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