bucket list!

I'v been feeling pretty good lately, motivated and excited for school to start, ready to give it my best effort. I'm not worrying about getting 4.0's and doing a million club's thats to stressful. the only thing I care about is doing my best and passing high school, and getting as close to an AA as possible, I'm excited about the classes i'm taking at CBC and hope that they will not be too hard. although my math level is around the 5th grade level (there I go being dramatic again) as long as I get all the class requirements and just need math classes for my AA, i'm fine with that.

Along with the school year starting i'm making more of an effort to hang out with my friends and text them every day! I have also created a new relationship with a girl on my tennis team from last year. she is pretty awesome and we are training for the new tennis season together. we are both working towards being on the varsity singles. she's pretty athletic so she is like my own personal coach.

something that I recently tried while at my friends house for

her birthday where fry'd twinkies. They where really good. at first we didnt think that the frying would go so well but it worked and the twinkies did look a little like fried rats but after tasting them... our attitudes changed. yummy!!!

School is starting and the time to decide what my plans are for the coming years are coming closer. my idea is that if I wait and do nothing it will just happen...whatever fate has in mind will just fit together and throw me down that road. I know that my reasoning is bad. but i'm terrified that I will make the wrong choice and screw my life up. dramatic I know, but remember i'm a teenager thats my forte.

"Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows but the weeds of "what-if." ~Dodinsky

this quote is pretty awesome... I found it through browsing the internet. I just have to find the strength to act on it. blah!

I'v decided that if i'm going to be making decisions I should have some goals or guidelines. so i'm going to make a bucket list!

My Bucket List!

* go to England.

*participate in a foren exchange program in college.

*shoot a gun.

*get a tatoo, it can be a henna tattoo.

*get drunk.

*fall in love.

*go blonde.

*be in the military.

* be debt free

*own a house.

*ride a motorcycle.

*be skinny... my ideal weight.

*meet a celebrity.

*change a persons life.

*have a life changing experience.

*be electronic free for a long period of time.

*work with kids... not permanently.

*make a person happy that they met me.

those are just a few items that I can think of at the moment. I'm sure that It will grow and change.

summer is ending... let the school year begin

I am so very ready for school to start. this summer has been the most boring one i'v ever experienced. All i have been doing all summer is working, I think i have actually hung out with my friends a grand total of 5 times. its scary to think that I pretty much have no one to hang out with or talk to. hopefully things will pick up when school starts. I wish that this year was over and I was able to leave... this school year seems pretty pointless. I am so ready to leave and start my life.

Today was a pretty boring day... I was going to go to the new glee 3D concert with my friends, but alas they cancelled, and rescheduled for another day. but i will be going hiking tonight hopefully up badger mountain and playing tennis tomorrow with some friends of mine.

well I did get up at the crack of noon and got ready for the movie that was then canceled on me. so I was all ready and looking pretty decent for a change and I didn't want to put that time and effort to waist so I took some pictures. haha, the funny thing about my pictures is that I was trying to look pretty and (caugh) a lil sexy... but lets just say I dont pull sexy or pretty of very often so the result is interesting. im always embarrassed to put up photos of me on Facebook or online because I don't feel very good about the whole face or body thing going on...

however I am trying to start a new chapter in my life... its called the work out a lot, try to look pretty, be happy and smile more chapter. if you think that tittle is long just think how long the actual chapter will be. I really do want to make over my life and self so I figure it will take a while. but I will try and have fun doing it. Yea! I suppose that part of my chapter of the emmy makeover is the airfare, or whichever branch I decide to go into if I even do commit to it.

so here we go! yea... a new school year!

My mission

As summer is winding down I have the opportunity to look back and see all of the things that I didn't get to do. Know it is my mission to compress the things that I would like to have done into the short few weeks of summer that I have left. so here goes... we will see what happens.

this summer has proven to me just how boring I am and how I am so un-willing, and scared to do anything new, or unfamiliar. I'm pretty sure that I get that from my mom, which is scary. i'm stuck living in a boring world of repetition and cheapness. I need to find an outlet or something to do that I find enjoyable. i'm afraid that I will go crazy living where I am.

I suppose that all of this has lead up to the discover that I need, and have to join the Air force. I kinda see it as a light at the end of the road. it feels like my life with start as soon as I join. I know that my reasoning is crazy... but i'v come to the conclusion that I am crazy, you have to be when you come from my family.

i'm actually really excited to begin the process of enlisting, I hope that everything will go smoothly and that I will be eligible and ready to join. I am actually waiting to find out if I can join and sign my papers before I really tell anyone. I think it would be fun to say hey by the way i'm enlisted in the Air force i'm leaving in 2 days. thats would be easy and I wouldn't have to worry about telling everyone and getting all there crappy feedback.

Reasons: ( things I tell myself thats its ok to do this crazy thing)

* finally get to have something of my own.

*life is too boring already

*finally be skinny

*feel bad Ass

*hot boys to look at

*my way of avoiding things, boys, Marriage, family... etc...

* pay for college

*become a better person

*become independent and mature

*escape

my list is pretty interesting, but its what iv got and its probably going to grow. i'm really really hoping that my enlistment process will actually happen and that I will finally get what I want... but the process starts now and we will see what happens. If I don't end up getting in I will find something else to do.

thats whats been on my mind...